WHAT IS YOUR PLAY STYLE?
THE GAFFER
The Gaffer is a no-nonsense, old-school pundit who swears by the sacred 4-4-2 formation—because if it worked in the '90s, why fix it? They kick off the season cautiously, backing teams with strong defensive records and savoring gritty 0-0 draws on freezing December nights, proudly declaring that "defense wins titles." Obsessed with counterattacking masterclasses, they’re notorious for favoring away wins, loving nothing more than watching a team nick a goal on the break and then shut up shop. Reliable, pragmatic, and allergic to flair, they’re destined to finish mid-table.
Traits: Pragmatic, disciplined, risk-averse
Weakness: Overly cautious in decision making
Style: Likely to go with the ‘reliable’ picks early and often.
THE DIRECTOR
Meet the Director, a boardroom strategist who treats football like a Fortune 500 company—suit and tie included, even when watching from the couch. They predict based on stable management, squad morale, and a firm belief in home advantage, dismissing current form as mere noise in the grand scheme of their five-year plan. Patient and process-driven, they trust their strategy and are already eyeing January transfer signings, knowing a well-timed shake-up could change everything. Like the CEO of predictions, they’re always three moves ahead, plotting their way to the top with calculated precision and a touch of corporate flair. The Director is reliable, picks consistent winners but most likely has poor banter in the group chat.
Traits: Strategic, analytical, patient
Weakness: Might overlook short term trends or emotional aspects of the game
Style: Calculated and well considered
THE PLAYMAKER
The Playmaker, inspired by midfield maestros like Iniesta, worships creativity above all else—except maybe their own ego. They make picks with flair and instinct, tweaking predictions as matchday drama unfolds and ignoring long-term strategy because planning ahead doesn’t allow you to listen to your ‘intuition’. Living entirely in the moment, they rely on mid-season trends or head-to-head stats to guide their choices. But when things go wrong, the playmaker is notoriously known to craft elaborate excuses to justify their missteps – blame the ref, blame VAR. After all, it’s never their fault… nor will it be when their end of season selections are limited for poor planning.
Traits: Instinctive, Impulsive
Weakness: Poor planner
Style: Relies on gut feelings rather than strategy or preparation
THE TACTICIAN
The Pep Guardiola of pundits—meticulous, data-obsessed, and acutely aware of the congested Christmas fixture list on the horizon. This pundit plans their picks weeks in advance, armed with spreadsheets and historical data to predict which teams will dominate possession against weaker opponents. They can deliver a detailed lecture on why a false nine will thrive this weekend (even if no one asked). As you read this, they’re probably already plotting team dynamics after prospective early cup exits. Calculated and measured, the Tactician thrives on precision but often buries their head so deep in data that they hilariously miss the obvious upsets everyone else saw coming.
Traits: Detail-orientated, data driven, obsessive
Weakness: Overthinks decisions, over reliance on data
Style: Perfectionist
THE MASCOT
This pundit is the ultimate underdog and is only in the game for the banter and because their mates guilt-tripped them into joining—basically, they're here for the laughs! No strategy, no problem. Every now and then, the mascot lands a winner, and might even sneak a few results back-to-back, demonstrating that a carefree attitude and a little luck can go a long way in the world of football predictions. Any place off the bottom secures off-season bragging rights for the mascot.
Traits: Carefree, unstructured
Weakness: Lack of football knowledge
Style: Never miss a deadline and hope the 1/3 chance of winnings happens more than it doesn’t.
